How to make a beautiful life

This one comes courtesy of my mom, who gave me one of the most beautiful and moving cards for my birthday last year. Since then, this primo Hallmark selection of hers has been hanging inside a cabinet in my bathroom, and I read it every day to remind myself of what's important. Maybe you'll find it equally relevant to your own life:

Love yourself.
Make peace with who you are and where you are at this moment in time.

Listen to your heart.
If you can't hear what it's saying in this noisy world, make time for yourself. Enjoy your own company. Let your mind wander among the stars.

Try. Take chances. Make mistakes.
Life can be messy and confusing at times, but it's also full of surprises. The next rock in your path might be a stepping stone.

Be happy.
When you don't have what you want, want what you have. Make do. That's a well-kept secret of contentment.

There aren't any shortcuts to tomorrow. You have to make your own way.
To know where you're going is only part of it. You need to know where you've been, too. And if you ever get lost, don't worry. The people who love you will find you. Count on it.

Life isn't days and years. It's what you do with time and with all the goodness and grace that's inside you.

Make a beautiful life ... the kind of life you deserve.

Shout out to Vine & Table in Carmel

New (to me) but old (to others who remember it as the old Kahn's in Carmel) is Vine & Table and all its amazing food, wine, spirits and assorted goodies.

Spent a delicious hour in the store this weekend and walked away with a lighter pocketbook but bags full of fabulous food and wine to sample.

If you're looking for a way to spice up an outdoor picnic or just want to try a new vintage or two, this place has EVERYTHING you could ever want -- in selection, in customer service, in pricing.

Good stuff. Good value. Good times. Give it a shot if you're in the neighborhood.

The Monday letdown

Coming off of what was perhaps one of the best, most relaxing and genuinely fun weekends I've had in at least a year, this Monday was -- to say the least -- a letdown.

Work? I couldn't concentrate. Phone calls? I struggled to get through the simplest of conversations with colleagues. Drop-ins from random office workers? They annoyed me to no end today.

My dog ... annoying, too. A phone conversation with Zoe cut short -- irritating that she had to go to make an errand run with her California family. Me sitting here writing about being annoyed: definitely an irritant.

Collapsing on the couch after a quick dinner at the kitchen counter, I asked myself: "Why the funk?" The short answer is: I'm disappointed. I wish this weekend didn't have to end.

Tuesday has got to be better/easier/less of a letdown than today. Here's hoping ...

Since she's been gone

Zoe's been in San Francisco for two weeks, and I can't begin to describe the overwhelming sense of loneliness that's hit me in each of the 13.5 days since she's been gone.

Yes, she's having a great time. Yes, she's experiencing an amazing marine biology camp for kids her age, compliments of her dad and stepmom. Yes, she's enjoying all that fabulous California weather that beats the heck out of Indiana temps (and tempests) this time of year.

And yes, I miss her like crazy.

In the mom manual that I got when Zoe was born, there is no chapter on "coping with feelings of loss during long visitation." And I must have missed the checklist that most surely was in there about "useful things you can do to fill your time while you wonder where/how your kid is for the 30 days she spends with the other side of her family." Those weren't in the divorce manual either, by the way.

I wasn't prepared for these feelings. And they were exacerbated last night when I got to "see" her via Web cam for the first time since she flew to the west coast.

She showed me the gaps in her gums where teeth used to be (I missed two more falling out.) She told me all about her day at camp, spent with other 10-12 year olds catching sharks and touching crabs and exploring the habitats of various marine life. (I missed the "fishy smell" that I'm sure she had when she hopped in the car at day's end.) And she looked like she's grown at least a foot in this short time away. (I missed each and every inch ... or 1/4 inch along the way.)

As I signed off our video chat with tears in my eyes, I took a deep breath and reminded myself that she'll be home in just two (LONG) short weeks. And when she gets back, I need to remember THIS feeling so that I appreciate all the time I do get to spend with her, even on the most challenging of days.

Since she's been gone, I'd like to think I've remembered a parenting/life lesson or two. And one of them is this: Kids are a gift. Treasure them and all the minutes you get to spend with them, whenever and wherever that might be.

Wear a helmet. Please.

I was coming home from work yesterday when I drove up on an accident that happened at the entrance to my neighborhood. It was a bad scene.

I was about three cars back when it happened, but by the time I creeped into the subdivision entrance, it was obvious this crash was not going to be cleaned up anytime soon. A small car. A Harley Davidson motorcycle. A young girl standing screaming in the middle of the highway. An older man laying on the ground, his head bleeding profusely, his sunglasses laying beside him.

The motorcycle was about 50 feet further up the road. There wasn't a helmet in sight. People were scrambling out of cars as fast as possible to see what, if anything, they could do to help. I did too.

After throwing my truck into park, I jogged up to the young girl (she was 23, it turns out) and just put my arms around her to walk her away from the accident a little ways. She was hysterical, standing outside the driver's door of her car, staring down at the man who'd just cracked his skull open on her front bumper when the pair didn't see each other entering/approaching a really dangerous intersection.

Police were called. Firetrucks arrived. Paramedics were next, followed by more police, more firefighters, and finally, LifeLine. The man on the motorcycle wasn't wearing a helmet. And while his motorcycle never made contact with the 23-year-old's car, his head most certainly did as he skidded his way down the road in an attempt to avoid a crash.

The girl was devastated and sobbing uncontrollably for at least an hour. I talked to her mom on the phone and gave her directions to the crash site. Then I stayed with the girl, along with another lady from my neighborhood, and just tried to keep her from going crazy while she watched, worried and wondered WHAT was going to happen to this man whose face she said she saw up-close-and-personal through the windshield as she slammed on her brakes pre-crash.

I felt awful for her. I felt awful for the man who was critically injured. I couldn't do anything but just be there for this "kid" who knew no one, had no one in town that was family and could not for the life of her remember anyone's phone number but her mother's.

The man, according to the paper, is from Lebanon. He's at Methodist now. They don't know if he'll make it. The girl, she told me, is from Noblesville. Her mom is from Carmel. The two reunited about an hour after the crash. Both were shaken, distraught, and terribly, terribly scared for the man who was injured.

I drove away after making sure they had what they needed and thanked my lucky stars it wasn't me or anyone I knew in that intersection. And I was immediately grateful that Zoe took her helmet with her to San Francisco, if only for simple bike rides to the park.

Head injuries are oh-so-devastating. This man might have been OK if he'd worn a helmet. Please wear yours. No matter what.

A road trip, a roller coaster, some tears & a splashin' good time!

The summer trip to Holiday World was yesterday, and Zoe took her BFF Makayla along for the ride. This, for me, was ideal, given my lack of love for long ride lines and roller coasters. And for Zoe and Makayla, it was ideal too because they got to "do their own thing" without (much) interference from a parental unit as they ran, danced, sung and sloshed their way through a day at the Santa Claus, Indiana theme park.

We greeted the day early, hit the road for a 3-hour drive, and then marched into the theme park with a few thousand of our closest non-friends to see how much fun we could pack into the daylight hours. When all was said and done, we packed A LOT into the time we had and left the park hot, tired and full of soda and ice cream.

The highlights:

• Zoe's first roller coaster ride, EVER. Makayla is a veteran coaster rider, and with her coaxing, Zoe was relatively easily convinced to give it a go. She rode The Legend, the mid-level coaster that only goes 60mph while twisting and turning its way around what appeared to be a mostly wooden track. I wish I could have captured the look on her face at the end of the ride as the coaster screeched to a halt. Death warmed over would NOT be an overstatement. She had shaky legs coming down the exit stairs and immediately collapsed into my arms. The anticipation now gone, she regaled me with tales from the dark side of steep climbs and gut-wrenching drops. And as we moved on to the next ride, she eyed it carefully ... and then the tears came as the thought of going up/down/around or anywhere near fast was just too much for her. "It was the scariest thing I've ever done, mom," she said with big wet ones dripping down her cheeks. "If I never see another roller coaster in my life, it will be too soon." And so we moved on ...
  
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• Really bad pizza and a burger at a picnic table that appeared to have been vomited on by the previous patrons. Where were those wet wipes I used to carry 24-7 when Zoe was a toddler? Man, I could have used them on Wednesday. At any rate, with full bellies, the kids were ready to tackle the rest of the park.



• Pilgrim's Plunge, the newest ride at the park. Picture a giant log boat, filled with 14 people, being carried by giant elevator up-up-up about 20 stories to the top of a giant roller coaster-style hill ... and then dropped/launched down a giant slide into a giant pool of cold water. The sound of it was a like a waterfall when the boat hit the pool. The riders were drenched from the front to the back of the boat. And it was awesome to watch -- and to ride, according to Z&M. They were in the front seat. And given roller coaster reaction from Zoe, I was surprised that she was happy about this experience. But she was. And it was amazing to see!



• Water park action, complete with water slides, dumping water buckets, water guns, a wave pool and more. The weather cooperated, the sun came out and the girls got more than their fare share of chlorinated water up their noses before we moved on to ...



• Arcade games. The goal was to win the biggest, baddest turtle and monkey in the place. A few $20 bills later, we were no closer to the prize. They left with a handful of stuffed flowers, a strange looking snake and a couple of those Beanie Baby wanna-be animals to add to their respective collections.

An ice cream stop and a photo opp later, we were headed for the car after 7 hours of sun and fun.


The drive home gave everyone a chance to relive the highs, lows and tears, of course.

It was worth the trip. I got some great people watching time, too! (More on that some other time.)

Here's hoping you get a chance to visit a theme park with kids sometime soon.