Prom fashions, 2009 style

I'm going to sound even older than my age when I say this, but WTH is up with prom fashions?

Had the occasion to sit on the patio of a downtown eatery Saturday evening, and my oh my, did I ever get an eyeful.

Fashion police, where were you?

Gaudy dresses, ta-tas hanging out for God and everybody to see, pantylines marking the path to places no teen should be showing the world, and flip flops on the feet of more than half of evening gown wearers.

There were fake tans, up dos, rhinestone jewelry out the ying yang, guys in white tuxedos with blue cumberbunds (when did THOSE come back in style?), and just about every imaginable combination of short, long and not-so-appropriate dresses on the girls.

It was people watching at its finest, I must say. But I had to wonder what the parents of some of these kids were thinking when they let their pride and joy step out the door looking like a painted harlot? Or a stripper, minus the pole.

I hereby reserve the right to veto any prom dress that my now 10-year-old eventually begs to wear because "it's the style" or "everybody else is wearing this!"

Call me old fashioned, but there's something to be said for "understated" and "elegant" on prom night.

Maybe those hoop skirts and pink-and-lavender ruffles from the '80s weren't as bad as I remember them. Lord knows they would have looked better on some of today's teens than what I witnessed on the street last night.