Scary stuff, this truth

Who says reality TV isn't real?

For me tonight, The Biggest Loser's Kristen touched a nerve when she said: "I'm scared because as soon as I declare I want it, it'll be ripped away from me."

THAT got my wheels turning. And my stomach churning.

How many times in my life have I secretly harbored doubt and let insecurities prevail because of fear? How many times have I told myself if I want it too much, it'll hurt too much when I don't get it? Or it is taken away or disappears?

(Insert inner voice here, chanting: It's better to NOT say it, NOT want it, NOT wish for it, NOT to work 150% for it because saying it, wanting it, wishing for it, working harder than anything for it will lead to ... disappointment, disillusionment, dissatisfaction.)

I'm not talking about material things here. I'm talking real stuff -- at work, at home, in my relationship, in friendships, with family.

When Kristen said what she said, a lightbulb went on for me. Not necessarily for the first time, but for what I hope is the last time.

Wanting something, saying you want it and working at it without hesitation or fear of "what if ..."

I need to flip the switch in my head from its self-defeating setting and let go of the fear. Today.

Here's to appreciating all the success and happiness that can come from things that are good, right and fun ... and letting go of the worry and pain that accompany all the "what ifs."